Excellerate and beyond…

5 cakes = 5 times making a wish (I think I made the same wish) = 6 different occasions = 4 different crowd + getting ill with fever, purges and nausea on the actual birth date itself!

What else can a girl wish for! I am so thankful Allah s.w.t still bless me with good and loving family and companions; good health, wealth and wit - regardless of my imperfection.

Although the age didn’t agree with me initially - it was a sign that I gotten ill on my birthday. As someone said, my looks and age is only compatible to 23 (yes yes please puck to this statement :-p), I have a good feeling about days hereon. Well… more prominently once I start a new chapter in a new place soon in Nov.

Maybe this is a start to a fruitful life ahead.

Insyallah.

I felt the earth move!

Everyone had different thought when it happened. For me, I thought Z shook his desk that I felt it but when I looked, he was far from his own desk. We stared at each other for a moment when Z asked, why is the building moving?

I started to look around and saw the curtains, a frame on my table and a colleague flower vase was slightly shaken. My MD came out and relief of the commotion coz for awhile then, he thought he was having heart attack.

The tremor went on for maybe less than a minute. I stood and sat and stood again and sat coz I didn’t know what would give less impact IF the building collapses! We giggled nervously when another colleague took her handbag and was ready to fleet off the building.

Then it stops. Everyone immediate got online to find out if there’s been any recent news of earthquake or tsunami (bearing in mind Sam0@ just had 8.2 mag tsunami a few hours before). At about 645pm (tremor felt at 615 or so), I received news alert that an earthquake just hit s0uth3rn sum@tr@ with 7.1 mag.

I felt nausea for awhile, which is a normal reaction. I must admit, I did wonder if the building do collapse, will I survive or will it be the end of me….

Scary whoah!

It’s a season to be jolly...

The invites are pouring in...hehehe...just when I thought this year people gonna close their doors on me...hehehe...

Yesterday went for 3 open houses. Well the 3rd I kinda crashed in with my family coz we were nearby from another open house. Raya what, so it’s acceptable :-)

I fear my flu is not going away anytime soon and unfortunately, I doubt I am able to get away with another MC unless I really really need it.


Do you know of some people that have it all and you just love to hate them but you can’t even if you tried coz you shouldn’t and no reason for it too?

Well, now I know of another girl who has it all – brain, looks, personality, good family, good relationship, health, wealth and spiritually adequate. I mean, some people are just so lucky. No point of being envious coz it’s their luck. We always say no one has the perfect life but when you meet someone who, in your book, is perfect, you begin to think; hey I thought there’s no such thing.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m content with what God wills me to have but it makes me more determine to set my path of indifferences. Some people say we are the reflection of our past and we owe it to ourselves to make the change if we do not want to settle for the same livelihood. This is true and should be everyone’s aspiration. There are always hints or opportunity around us, which sometimes, we overlooked and always in mind, think it’s already too late. Same goes with me. I have either been afraid, tired or losing my enthusiasm. Well no more excuses. Time to seize it all!

OR lamely put, I might be having a post pre-midlife crisis. Beats me if there’s such thing...heheheheh

Well, I have my fair share too – loving family, caring friends, a brain to think, physically fit (not ideal but well enough to keep me off the ward), mentality sorted, spiritually fine and wealthy enough from poverty.

Guess... we’re all perfect in our own odd way :-)

Maybe...

Slowly but surely things are taking a turning toll. Maybe I’m looking forward to a fresh start in November, maybe I kept stumbling upon notes or tips about things I needed to know to do beyond 9-5, maybe the thought this year will lessen my financial stress (lessen, not gone), and maybe, with high possibility, the thought that I am looking forward to a new residential move next year.

I just hope she remembers my why and remain to agree as she had when I told her earlier. It is a must do change, and maybe it will turnaround my luck in life. I’m not superstitious or believe in feng shui but I do believe I need to make my own path and maybe it’s a betterment for me and people I love.

I’m excited about this and scary as well. It’s just time and it needs doing. Heck I may look youthful (my blog, my word, my compliment :-p) but fact of the matter, to others, number is an issue.

And oh, I’m training myself to be less empathetic. Just realise, it soften me too much and exhausting me unnecessarily. Not completely heartless, just for those that matters... and believe you me, it’s more than a handful already!

Raya 1430H...

Raya this year has been slightly different than the years before.

· Received duit raya from my MD and had to gave RM25 for half the share to Z

· New baju raya bought just a day before raya

· My niece’s and her mom and granny usually come to SA on 1^st day but this year we went to Klang.

· My uncle and family from Bentong have never visited us on the 1^st day of raya and he did this time :-o

· Wasn’t able to follow the usual Klang Valley visits due to above but made it to Sban and Mantin (3 consecutive years already)

· Read on FB that 3zz’s mom had laksa johor as the day menu and self-invited myself over

· A rekindled gadabout with once-a-close-mate-now-a-silent-meet for the sake of her happiness

· Sam came to visit with his family and got A&W treat too

· Brought mom to BK for raya instead of Kajang on 2^nd day of raya

· A visit from the line-above parent after 3 years of mentioning it

· No open house invite as yet – relative not counted coz kinda expected

· Dolls away for almost 3 weeks Europe excursion and I just want a gift from every country they’re visiting for my bday....hehehheh

· Actually falling sick when I just wished I did

· Home on 1^st Fri of raya coz down with tonsil and the works that comes with it

Must say, I’m enjoying the unexpected :-)

I wanna raya...

I am already in festive mood and dreading the thought that I’ve no more leave to apply! Saddest case ever this year. Never in MY raya history. I wanna take the whole week off and it's the only time of the year I need no excuse to take for so long.

Uweeekkkkkkkk!

Maaf Zahir dan Batin...

Shot! 2 back to back posting of my depression! Aint good. Not healthy. Oh no.

I am looking forward for the long weekend. Even though I doubt I get to laze about during the hol. This week, I’m already in hol mood and I think so is everyone else. Of coz. It’s raya. Time for gathering and time for festive indulgence. I definitely need to get back in shape (errr...was I ever in shape before this! Hehehehehe).

Btw, the dirty d@ncing legend has RIP on Sept 15. Noticed there’s been so many celeb or well-known personality death this year. Scaaaaweeeeyyyyy.

I know certain 8 individual are super excited this raya cause they will be off for 2 weeks backpacking excursion to Europe! I don’t envy them TOO much though coz I will get 8 fabulous bday gift from Europe! Hehehehe... hey I could be so lucky. Better to try than not :-p

This is the shortest raya break I’m taking coz I’ve no more AL left. Oh well, it’ll be a slow week anyways. I can only hope.

Well, in case I don’t blog before raya...

Salam Aidil Fitri and Maaf Zahir dan Batin to you all!

Lost and still not found...

I have been very exhausted – mentally and physically. There’s just so many to deal with and I’m running out of my wits dealing with it.

What worry me the most, I’ve lost my creative mojo and that is detrimental to my career considering I’m in the creative industry! If I don’t get my mojo back, I will be in the utmost rut and this is my rice bowl we’re talking here!

Definitely, I need to do something about this and I need to do it superfast! I surely need to reflect on all my dos and donts and act upon it to get my groove back. I even find myself socially and PR retarded! This is so not me. I need a change, I need a move, I need new space, I need....

Someone... or two keep telling me put myself first and be selfish. I never knew how to be selfish and I don’t even know how to start.

If someone ask how to describe me, the answers will be – constantly tired, lack enthusiasm and lack of opinion. In summary in 3 words - WTF!

On the other hand, I’m grateful that my friends’ good wealth is shared with me and there have been opportunity to ease my finances. Though it isn’t much, it’s better than nothing at all. Guess there’s still a silver lining on this cloud of mine.

I need to renew myself...

Ramadhan sure went by fast this year (or is that an overrated statement).

I haven’t frequent terawih as often as I do before and I must admit, I’m constantly feel worn out with everything. I get to leave early from work but work keeps piling up the same! By the time I come back from prayer, I’m too tired to do anything and if I do, my brain react slower than it should. Even though I sleep early after prayer and start work by sahur, it’s just don’t cut it.

Then again, I have not been in the best state of mind too. I have no interest in work and I am feeling absolutely frustrated in many ways.

I must really do something about this because in the long run, it will show and the more de-motivated I feel, the lower my self-esteem and surely, performance will drop.

Hopefully a good fear...

For the first time in my life, I fear my decision to join the new place. It just didn’t feel right, work wise. I feel they in need to fill up the post but no thought put to what’s next or my career growth. I don’t know. Maybe it’s me but the persistence to be there earlier, just makes me feel disrespected.

To begin with, the reason to leave wasn’t right either. I seriously doubt this but I hope the anxiety I feel is for a good deal and not just bail bill.