YOu caN LiVe oN dreAmS ToO. nO frEt. nO feAr.

Excellerate and beyond…

2009-10-18T01:02:00.002+08:00

5 cakes = 5 times making a wish (I think I made the same wish) = 6 different occasions = 4 different crowd + getting ill with fever, purges and nausea on the actual birth date itself!

What else can a girl wish for! I am so thankful Allah s.w.t still bless me with good and loving family and companions; good health, wealth and wit - regardless of my imperfection.

Although the age didn’t agree with me initially - it was a sign that I gotten ill on my birthday. As someone said, my looks and age is only compatible to 23 (yes yes please puck to this statement :-p), I have a good feeling about days hereon. Well… more prominently once I start a new chapter in a new place soon in Nov.

Maybe this is a start to a fruitful life ahead.

Insyallah.

I felt the earth move!

2009-10-01T00:32:00.009+08:00

Everyone had different thought when it happened. For me, I thought Z shook his desk that I felt it but when I looked, he was far from his own desk. We stared at each other for a moment when Z asked, why is the building moving?

I started to look around and saw the curtains, a frame on my table and a colleague flower vase was slightly shaken. My MD came out and relief of the commotion coz for awhile then, he thought he was having heart attack.

The tremor went on for maybe less than a minute. I stood and sat and stood again and sat coz I didn’t know what would give less impact IF the building collapses! We giggled nervously when another colleague took her handbag and was ready to fleet off the building.

Then it stops. Everyone immediate got online to find out if there’s been any recent news of earthquake or tsunami (bearing in mind Sam0@ just had 8.2 mag tsunami a few hours before). At about 645pm (tremor felt at 615 or so), I received news alert that an earthquake just hit s0uth3rn sum@tr@ with 7.1 mag.

I felt nausea for awhile, which is a normal reaction. I must admit, I did wonder if the building do collapse, will I survive or will it be the end of me….

Scary whoah!

It’s a season to be jolly...

2009-09-27T10:06:00.002+08:00

The invites are pouring in...hehehe...just when I thought this year people gonna close their doors on me...hehehe...

Yesterday went for 3 open houses. Well the 3rd I kinda crashed in with my family coz we were nearby from another open house. Raya what, so it’s acceptable :-)

I fear my flu is not going away anytime soon and unfortunately, I doubt I am able to get away with another MC unless I really really need it.

Do you know of some people that have it all and you just love to hate them but you can’t even if you tried coz you shouldn’t and no reason for it too?

Well, now I know of another girl who has it all – brain, looks, personality, good family, good relationship, health, wealth and spiritually adequate. I mean, some people are just so lucky. No point of being envious coz it’s their luck. We always say no one has the perfect life but when you meet someone who, in your book, is perfect, you begin to think; hey I thought there’s no such thing.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m content with what God wills me to have but it makes me more determine to set my path of indifferences. Some people say we are the reflection of our past and we owe it to ourselves to make the change if we do not want to settle for the same livelihood. This is true and should be everyone’s aspiration. There are always hints or opportunity around us, which sometimes, we overlooked and always in mind, think it’s already too late. Same goes with me. I have either been afraid, tired or losing my enthusiasm. Well no more excuses. Time to seize it all!

OR lamely put, I might be having a post pre-midlife crisis. Beats me if there’s such thing...heheheheh

Well, I have my fair share too – loving family, caring friends, a brain to think, physically fit (not ideal but well enough to keep me off the ward), mentality sorted, spiritually fine and wealthy enough from poverty.

Guess... we’re all perfect in our own odd way :-)

Maybe...

2009-09-26T01:15:00.003+08:00

Slowly but surely things are taking a turning toll. Maybe I’m looking forward to a fresh start in November, maybe I kept stumbling upon notes or tips about things I needed to know to do beyond 9-5, maybe the thought this year will lessen my financial stress (lessen, not gone), and maybe, with high possibility, the thought that I am looking forward to a new residential move next year.

I just hope she remembers my why and remain to agree as she had when I told her earlier. It is a must do change, and maybe it will turnaround my luck in life. I’m not superstitious or believe in feng shui but I do believe I need to make my own path and maybe it’s a betterment for me and people I love.

I’m excited about this and scary as well. It’s just time and it needs doing. Heck I may look youthful (my blog, my word, my compliment :-p) but fact of the matter, to others, number is an issue.

And oh, I’m training myself to be less empathetic. Just realise, it soften me too much and exhausting me unnecessarily. Not completely heartless, just for those that matters... and believe you me, it’s more than a handful already!

Raya 1430H...

2009-09-26T00:56:00.000+08:00

Raya this year has been slightly different than the years before.

· Received duit raya from my MD and had to gave RM25 for half the share to Z

· New baju raya bought just a day before raya

· My niece’s and her mom and granny usually come to SA on 1^st day but this year we went to Klang.

· My uncle and family from Bentong have never visited us on the 1^st day of raya and he did this time :-o

· Wasn’t able to follow the usual Klang Valley visits due to above but made it to Sban and Mantin (3 consecutive years already)

· Read on FB that 3zz’s mom had laksa johor as the day menu and self-invited myself over

· A rekindled gadabout with once-a-close-mate-now-a-silent-meet for the sake of her happiness

· Sam came to visit with his family and got A&W treat too

· Brought mom to BK for raya instead of Kajang on 2^nd day of raya

· A visit from the line-above parent after 3 years of mentioning it

· No open house invite as yet – relative not counted coz kinda expected

· Dolls away for almost 3 weeks Europe excursion and I just want a gift from every country they’re visiting for my bday....hehehheh

· Actually falling sick when I just wished I did

· Home on 1^st Fri of raya coz down with tonsil and the works that comes with it

Must say, I’m enjoying the unexpected :-)

I wanna raya...

2009-09-16T12:39:00.001+08:00

I am already in festive mood and dreading the thought that I’ve no more leave to apply! Saddest case ever this year. Never in MY raya history. I wanna take the whole week off and it's the only time of the year I need no excuse to take for so long.

Uweeekkkkkkkk!

Maaf Zahir dan Batin...

2009-09-16T00:15:00.001+08:00

Shot! 2 back to back posting of my depression! Aint good. Not healthy. Oh no.

I am looking forward for the long weekend. Even though I doubt I get to laze about during the hol. This week, I’m already in hol mood and I think so is everyone else. Of coz. It’s raya. Time for gathering and time for festive indulgence. I definitely need to get back in shape (errr...was I ever in shape before this! Hehehehehe).

Btw, the dirty d@ncing legend has RIP on Sept 15. Noticed there’s been so many celeb or well-known personality death this year. Scaaaaweeeeyyyyy.

I know certain 8 individual are super excited this raya cause they will be off for 2 weeks backpacking excursion to Europe! I don’t envy them TOO much though coz I will get 8 fabulous bday gift from Europe! Hehehehe... hey I could be so lucky. Better to try than not :-p

This is the shortest raya break I’m taking coz I’ve no more AL left. Oh well, it’ll be a slow week anyways. I can only hope.

Well, in case I don’t blog before raya...

Salam Aidil Fitri and Maaf Zahir dan Batin to you all!

Lost and still not found...

2009-09-15T23:59:00.000+08:00

I have been very exhausted – mentally and physically. There’s just so many to deal with and I’m running out of my wits dealing with it.

What worry me the most, I’ve lost my creative mojo and that is detrimental to my career considering I’m in the creative industry! If I don’t get my mojo back, I will be in the utmost rut and this is my rice bowl we’re talking here!

Definitely, I need to do something about this and I need to do it superfast! I surely need to reflect on all my dos and donts and act upon it to get my groove back. I even find myself socially and PR retarded! This is so not me. I need a change, I need a move, I need new space, I need....

Someone... or two keep telling me put myself first and be selfish. I never knew how to be selfish and I don’t even know how to start.

If someone ask how to describe me, the answers will be – constantly tired, lack enthusiasm and lack of opinion. In summary in 3 words - WTF!

On the other hand, I’m grateful that my friends’ good wealth is shared with me and there have been opportunity to ease my finances. Though it isn’t much, it’s better than nothing at all. Guess there’s still a silver lining on this cloud of mine.

I need to renew myself...

2009-09-14T06:47:00.000+08:00

Ramadhan sure went by fast this year (or is that an overrated statement).

I haven’t frequent terawih as often as I do before and I must admit, I’m constantly feel worn out with everything. I get to leave early from work but work keeps piling up the same! By the time I come back from prayer, I’m too tired to do anything and if I do, my brain react slower than it should. Even though I sleep early after prayer and start work by sahur, it’s just don’t cut it.

Then again, I have not been in the best state of mind too. I have no interest in work and I am feeling absolutely frustrated in many ways.

I must really do something about this because in the long run, it will show and the more de-motivated I feel, the lower my self-esteem and surely, performance will drop.

Hopefully a good fear...

2009-09-14T06:30:00.001+08:00

For the first time in my life, I fear my decision to join the new place. It just didn’t feel right, work wise. I feel they in need to fill up the post but no thought put to what’s next or my career growth. I don’t know. Maybe it’s me but the persistence to be there earlier, just makes me feel disrespected.

To begin with, the reason to leave wasn’t right either. I seriously doubt this but I hope the anxiety I feel is for a good deal and not just bail bill.

RIP doesn’t mean RIP…

2009-08-22T00:18:00.000+08:00

Since the death of the talented Y@smin @hmad, there have been numerous talks in town about her. Some gave her the ultimate tribute for her wondrous works, some judged her existence and some went further more.

The articles and comments have been quite interesting. It sheds some lights on who she was, what she saw when other don’t, and how she transpired them into her brilliant, touching, facts of life advertising and film making.

Known for her openness and blunt responses, mixtures of departing reaction follow suit, good and bad. After all, we’re only human and never perfect. Whatever the truth of the matter is, I think she’s brilliant and her work was an eye opening.

Hopefully she RIP better than MJ could.

Work is a box of choc too...

2009-07-14T23:40:00.001+08:00

Is it normal to switch job more often with an average turnover of 2 years?

Does this mean the company has fail to retain the staff or the staff doesn’t jive with the culture?

How fast does a person expect career advancement in an organization or does money overrule designation?

Is it really money talks or walk the walk matters?

Job is like a box of chocolate too. You never know what to expect until you try it. When the chocolate tastes bitter and doesn’t suit your liking, get a new chocolate box. Until you find that superdelicious chocolate box and the taste exceed your expectation, maybe then, you’ll continue having the same chocolate box again and again.

But how would you know this is the right chocolate box? Well… you don’t. There are many chocolate types out there. You just gotta try them all til you find the right one.

But what if you never find the right one? Well… at least it’s chocolate and not craps!

What if you run out of chocolate to choose from? Mmmmm…. Starts having ice cream then!

*Note to self: When the chocolate melts away, read this post again!

RiP 25 & 26 June...

2009-06-27T01:56:00.006+08:00

MJ (50) death is worldwide huge news. Just like Princess Diana’s.

It is surreal. Of coz he has been out of the scene for awhile but he is the K1ng 0f P0p! The L3g3nd! He made breakthrough in the music industry. No one can be like him. Just like no one can be 3lvis Pr3sley, J0hn L3nn0n, H3@th Ledg3r and our very own P.R@ml33 and Sud1rm@n.

The exceptional always dies young. Makes you wonder if you life longer, means you’re not as terrific as these people are…..mmmmm

Unbelievable as it may seem, he has passed on and maybe for the best. He was a tortured soul. Confused, uncertain and lost. The stage is the only place that makes sense to him. When the limelight shuts, he’s back in the dark.

News of MJ’s death was sooooooooo overpowering, no one really talks about F@r@h Fawc3tt’s, 62, death caused by cancer. She died a day (or likely, less than 12 hours) before his death.

Both will be remembered as the greatest talent earth will ever have. Both left a remarkably stamp in each of our lives.

Thank you for the entertainment, thank you for the amusement, thank you for Billie jean, thank you for the mushroom turn-over hairdo and thank you for you.

May you RIP.

Time will tell...

2009-06-10T18:48:00.000+08:00

Time flies when you’re overworked and battling with a change in life!

A lot has happen in due course and I’ve been less inspirational to write since. Loads topsy turvy last couple of months. Good and bad, happy and sad.

Weekdays are drag, weekends goes by like a bullet train.
Money drips like water, health, stamina, mental alertness going low.
Ambition is just too flimsy to get hold of especially under constant scrutiny and criticism, and last but not the least, I grew out of interest for the industry.

Even though I recently been approached for a higher post in the same industry, (yet the follow up has been slow), I cant imagine myself continuing the same daily routine, even for a different category any further.

Why cant I be in entertainment, working 4 hours a day and doing things I like and fun with and get paid luxuriously? Simply coz I’m not fated for it I guess.

Why cant I work on a cruise and work leisurely across the seas and passing continent? I only thought of the common – corporate world and mo money.

Always a ‘what ifs’, though it takes time, but fate can change so I gotta shake it, move it, and make it.

Errrr….. another 6 months before I achieve it??? Time will tell.

W@ikik1 with a vengence...

2009-04-03T23:00:00.004+08:00

There’s always a first time for everything. I am now at Waikiki and doing work at the same time. Of coz I have no choice! Needed to get things approve even in the wee hour coz some people did not have a good time management. And because we are darn efficient, we will ourselves clean up people’s crap.

Luckily the band that is performing is darn good and help me get thru my stress breezily.

Oh well. Life’s like that…

Abused and I like it...

2009-03-12T01:09:00.002+08:00

I brutally abused myself during my last rafting and was showing off the nature’s medal the whole week! It was a darn good irreplaceable experience and I absolutely loved it. Put aside the washing machine tumbling and almost pulling off someone’s pant for safety, rescued and pulled in over rocks and the bruises after, but it was great and priceless.

What made it more exhilarating was the pouring rain half way through the course, and one new member got kissed viciously by a rock and the marking on the right cheek may still be there up til today.

Will I do it again? Of coz!

From here on...

2009-03-12T01:08:00.001+08:00

Bad things happen all the time. Some you can forget and some you can even laugh at and some, you just let it pass and hope you will not go through it again.

So when a bad thing happen between two people, you can either choose to drop the friendship and be complete strangers or make amend and be friends again.

In my case, I never thought I’ll turn my back on her and I knew eventually we’ll be talking again. I mean, put again the shitty event, she has been a good friend and we knew each other for the longest time. I guess our friendship is worth saving for but unfortunately I will never forget. In fact, I do not see myself being as forgiving yet. We both hurt each other during those agonizing moment but we’re putting our dispute aside and trying to salvage what left of it. I guess it’s better than a total lost. Even though, there’s rules and conditions apply now. Sigh.

Of coz things will be different between us. Of coz I’ll get cynical and she will respond sarcastically but that will be our journey from here on.

Good luck to both of us.

Almost a victim!

2009-02-27T00:22:00.002+08:00

During my time of realization that I need to move away from my current state and face the next phase of getting serious in life, I endured myself with online acquaintances. Well it worked for some people, never know if I end up finding my prince charming (HUH! He must be gay then!) online.

3 weeks ago I met this guy from UK named M0rgan J@mes. He said he’s a divorcee and in search for love and even asked for my hand in marriage! I am never a sucker for such nonsense coz I find it so impossible and unreal. To cut the story short, he said he sent me valentine’s gift – jewellery, laptop and some UK dough. Few days later, custom officer (she claimed) called and said I’ve to pay RM4K+ tax before releasing the parcel to me. It didn’t sound right to me coz I thought the courier service will be the one to call me for any cost imposed and also when she insisted I call her hp rather than an office number. I was obviously reluctant and asked him to send me the money. He said he was offshore and not able to tt the money and persuaded me to find ways to get it. I refused! Besides, I didn’t asked him to send me any of those things!

2 days ago, and lucky that I told my colleague about it, she read in the papers of a scam of the same manner. 2 girls (I don’t even understand why they cant think the logic of this matter) was conned for RM12K and RM16K respectively.

Lucky for me am wise, witty and not wealthy. I may, in my clouded mind be a victim to this scam but my libra sense of me always thinking logically.

Ladies, do not, in any kind of desperation, be conned into an easy love online stink like this. Always keep a clear mind especially when love is a blind deal.

Away from the turvy, up with a glee...

2009-02-16T02:50:00.002+08:00

A few gads – dining, movie, bowling, home gad, acoustica, mamaks & langkawi.

Expansion of network – old, new, online & through friends.

Actions of the moment – solitude, sweat it, power up, reviews, bucker up, fumbling, cheap thrills, smirking, boom boom.

I’m truly enduring my back-to-uplifting-self even though it burns obscenely in the pocket and now am dealing with the consequences but it’s been good and I feel a comeback :-)

I must say, and I know I’ve said it before, I’m grateful that God blessed me with reliable frens that helped me picked myself out from the rut. Sometimes I know I kinda insisted for the company, but they came thru, and so did I, in a way, on my own. It’s no surprise when I met this one particular person who is always smiling, funny, laughing and fun to be around with, I came to realized I see ‘me’ in that person and brought me back to the ground.

Ezz, meng, I found my reason why… tapi mmg adorable kan cam ‘pooh’… hehehe

On sat, I went rafting organized by the company’s sport club at Kampar. It wasn’t as challenging as Slim River but nonetheless fun and I even gulped the spring water couple of times. We did body rafting, which was cool! I hope I get to do body boarding one of these days too (or is it call ‘something else’ boarding).

I must admit I blog much less now but as and when I can and inspired, I will keep blogging coz it’s a testament of my life. At least I know what I've been up to since I started blogging especially when time flies absurdly fast! Besides, writting a diary is so yesterday kan… hehehehe….

I'm done. Thank you.

2009-01-30T15:35:00.003+08:00

A phone call, a stark realization hit on the mind and harsh caring words needed to be said. All for the sake of a loving friendship.

We need to say it straight to the face, no matter how unwearyingly mean it is to get points across, we need to be dramatic to get things going… or maybe off. Reality is painful, especially when you’re hoping and know no one will take care of you except yourself. It takes a lot of energy to be cheerful and drain even more energy to stay distraught.

ARE YOU DONE?
That must be the most hard-hitting question someone asked me since this couple of months.

YOU CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT OTHERS. DO THEY CARE ABOUT YOU? ARE THEY THERE TO CONSOLE YOU WHEN YOU CRY, WHEN YOU’RE SAD, WHEN YOU FEEL DOWN?
I’M NOT THERE BUT IT KILLS ME TO HEAR YOU CRY. STOP CARING TOO MUCH. SOME PEOPLE JUST DON’T DESERVE YOUR TEARS AND YOUR ANGUISHES.

Remember the times we gathered when someone sent for SOS. Remember the times when someone did something no one agreed with and admitted it was wrong and wanted us to accept it coz he/she wants to make the mistake and tell them ‘I told you so’ when the time comes and still liberate them when they fall. Remember the times someone got hurt and everyone drop whatever they’re doing to be with that someone for support. Remember the times when someone moved home it became a group activity. Remember the times when someone needed a shelter, we offered our home. Remember the times we heard the tone of desperation and knew we must be there to accompany coz loneliness is a killer. Remember the times we didn’t talk but knew what’s on each other’s mind. Remember the times we hated someone’s gut but we accept all log, stock and barrel of the friendship because we’re colourful like that. Remember the times we knew, often unsaid, we’ll be there always and forever coz that's what true friends do.

Thank you for caring and loving. I love you too.

Profoundly accurate...

2009-01-29T01:03:00.003+08:00

I just did this 'personality profile' test (when I should be doing work!) and surprised how 99.9% spot on it is, and highlight some points which I never realised before and in agreement it's true. It'll be quite a read but really, darn spot on about me!

Introduction to Agreeableness - This section of your profile describes your interactions with other people. The ways we communicate our feelings, beliefs and ideas to others are influenced by our cultural backgrounds, the way we were raised, and sometimes which side of the bed we got up on this morning.

My result: TAKING CARE OF OTHERS AND TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF

You are deeply moved by the needs of others, but you know that if you don't take good care of yourself, you'll wind up being of no use to anyone. So yours is a thoughtful compassion. You strive to be fair and sensible, taking care of others while also taking care of yourself.When someone really is in trouble, you like to collaborate with them toward a solution; they do their part, you do yours. You consider carefully, and respond in a sensible way; they do their part, and together you move through the difficulty. You seldom act impulsively; rather, when a problem arises, you take your time to think through the situation. This contemplative quality usually means that you'll arrive at a diplomatic solution, one that's fair for the other person and also fair to you. It's frequently a win/win situation.

Negative response: Those who believe people should take care of themselves may find even your thoughtful sympathies too soft. They expect people, themselves included, to work their own way out of trouble. They are convinced that the helping hand you lend just fosters dependence and is not good for the development of character, either in you or in the person you assist.

Positive response: Those whom you help will appreciate the way you leave them with their dignity by expecting them to collaborate in their own rescue. Those who are more tender-hearted will find in you a balance they lack; when they've run out of energy because they fail to take good care of themselves, you will still have enough compassion left to lift others out of trouble.

Introduction to Emotional Stability - We're born with the capacity to feel deeply, so it's as natural as breathing to experience a range of emotions. Fear and joy and sadness, anger and shame and disgust lie somewhere within each of us. Ah, but to what extent do we control these emotions, and to what extent do they control us?

My result: VERY RESPONSIVE

Some people go to great lengths to keep their emotions under wraps, to keep a stiff upper lip, to not let others know what emotions they are feeling. But that is not you. You embrace all of life's emotions, both the joys and the turmoil that life brings our way. Emotions drive your personality and your relationships - you simply are what you feel. You experience both the highs and the lows more profoundly than most. And you usually relish the intensity of your emotions. For sure you enjoy the positive times. There are those times, though, when your feelings get the best of you and you wonder how you will manage the moment. But because you are so in tune with all of your emotions you will experience something very pleasant and will be able to engage with that positive feeling to again enjoy the wonderful intensity that life brings you.

Negative response: If we were to ask you what negative reactions may result from your approach to your emotions, it would likely be that some people find it hard to deal with your strong feelings. They might think of you as emotionally "over the top," and wish you would be more like those who are always emotionally composed and less prone to fully engage their emotions.

Positive response: Despite any negative reactions others may have toward you, many people will be grateful for your strong emotions and your willingness to experience these emotions. They will appreciate the candor with which you express even your deepest feelings, feelings they themselves might want to express but may find difficult to share. Your openness will be an encouragement to them as well. Still others may find your intensity compelling; they feel emotionally flat, and you could be a burst of passion in their dull worlds, and an encouragement to them to "get with" their own feelings. Any or all of these people will be grateful for a friend who is so emotionally present.

Introduction to Extraversion - The following paragraphs describe your fundamental desires about being with other people; whether you are generally an outgoing person or more reserved, if you seek adventures with others, if you tend toward assertiveness or kindness.

My result: VERY OUTGOING

You are a very sociable person, enjoy spending time with other people, and seek their company. You like coming home to your family or your roommate, but not to a dark living room when no one is there. You are very outgoing; you seek out other people, arrange activities, organize gatherings. You are full of energy. You add liveliness to any situation. You talk and listen, participate in whatever the activity is "a sport or a party or a walk in the woods" and come away from such experiences pumped up by the time spent together. You especially like to talk with your friends. You bring energy and genuine interest to almost any conversation. When they speak, you listen; and then you are eager to have your say as well. You know how to connect in a conversation, using your energy, your vocabulary, and your genuine interest in being with the other person. You are at your best and are happiest in these experiences of real communication. One more thing about you. When you are in these experiences of real communication with others, you really know how to let yourself go. When you talk, when you play, when you participate in some activity, you are unrestrained. You give all that you've got to these moments, and because you like the experience so much, your warmth comes through. It is clear to whomever you're with that you're glad to be in just this situation. In these warm, wide-open moments, you are you at your best.

Negative response: Those whose personality is quieter, whose idea of a good conversation is more low-key, low-intensity, low-volume, may find they want some distance from you. For them, you suck up too much of the air in the room, and they need to walk away to breathe more comfortably. They might not say anything, after all, they're not as communicative as you are, but by their distance or their absence they'll let you know that sometimes you're more than they can or want to handle. How you choose to respond will likely depend on the situation but it is important for you to realize some people may have this sort of response to you.

Positive response: On the other hand, many people will enjoy your company immensely. Your warmth and liveliness will attract them to you, and your ability to communicate with such unrestrained energy will draw them in and keep them interested. They will appreciate your willingness to take the initiative in planning an event or leading a conversation, and because you come alive in a group you will make any social situation more fun and more interesting for everyone involved. If you sometimes go over the top: talk too much, insist too intently on your own opinions, get someone involved in an adventure that may be out of their usual realm of behaviors, people who know you well will probably cut you some slack because they understand that when you get wound up you sometimes don't stop. It's just lively, energetic, outgoing you who makes life so much more interesting for your friends.

Welcoming Ox in the house...

2009-01-28T21:37:00.002+08:00

5 days is really a short stint, especially when you dread working, the faster the time tend to pass.

I did a lot of chilling this time round and quiet hectic too, rather than the anticipated home-alone moments. I managed to rest better at other people’s home rather my own. Yesterday being the best. Had some odd and eye rolling experience too, which I wish had never took place, but it did, and it will become part of my ‘uh huh’ memory bank.

I ventured into a realm of unknown and I really don’t know if it’ll turn out fruitful. Time would tell. What took me so long to actually taking the step? Sigh. I was having too much fun, and qualm too much about financial, that I didn’t step back and think, there will always be problem but the next phase must be cross.

So this year… errr so far, I’ve done rafting, next up is climbing and when Ronny eventually opens his studio, dancing, and hopefully a distance travel.

It’s not a good time for a career change, but maybe, this time, I have something up my sleeves besides the 10-7 job.

You know why...

2009-01-28T21:31:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, we pretend we’re happy when we’re truly not. Sometimes, we sort comfort from someone we know we should stay away from. Sometimes, we let loneliness gets the best of us. And sometimes, the kind way just aint working, we start getting crude and will to be hate so it would be easier to deal with.

Most of the time, we run away from the problem. Most of the time, we wish for something we know will never take place. Most of the times, we get all worked up thinking, when the other party have no thoughts of you.

Hence, we move with the change. Even though we hate it, we do it because it aint helping ourselves. Friends we easily console with, arent easily available now and we end up dealing with it alone. We gotta learn to lift ourselves up. And if it means, going to the extreme and stooped ourselves low, just so we do not go thru the in-between thoughts, the possible whatnot, wishing for something that will never happen, hoping happiness coming our way instead, feeling hatred is better than devastation, then do it! Coz no one understands the feeling except the ones feeling it. No one bares the hurt except the person bearing the pain. No one is there, except the only one there at the moment.

You will make it dear, may seems pathetic but if it works, only you know why. You deserve to be happy too and Insyallah, you will be better in time…

Pix says it all...

2009-01-18T21:00:00.007+08:00

It’s obvious a hiatus from blogging means I’ve been having blogger’s block and so many things been happening that de-motivate me. Although, top breaking news has it that original bloggers are no longer blogging due to the online vandalism on blogging.

Anyhoot, it’s been a ridiculous funtabulous bumpy and happy ride this last month. I’m honestly uninspired so let’s the pix display do the update :-D

Away 2008...

2008-12-30T23:15:00.000+08:00

Before the year ends, and I go off to my first eve away from Msia, let’s reminisce 2008 memories:-

· Happy trip to redang
· Drink to let go easier
· Lost and found friends offline and online – mostly through fb
· Heath L3dger unforgiven death
· Eagle with family and friends
· Kelabing with my parent :-o
· Longest k’ok ever
· Countless sanctuary and sangriang ria
· PD, bbq and pot luck
· Abandon friend
· Multi gatherings
· Entering a new phase
· Hellos and goodbyes

… and the list goes on and on and on and on….

Whatever it is, let’s have a funtabulous 2009 everyone!

Read me next year ;-)